A Blog For All You Parents…

You may not have got there yet, but have you got a teen in the house? Oh the joys, challenging everything you say, grunts and rolling eyes as well as hours glued to devices of all and every sort – and they don’t seem to want or need you anymore – unless it’s for a lift or money of course, then it’s all sweetness and light again!.

When will your little sweetie turn in to this new secretive being – looking towards their mates and yes GOING OUT? A real worry at this time can be sleepovers, parties, gatherings in town, at the park or at the beach = and the elephant in the room? What are they really up to and how can I check up on them? As a parent of a thirteen and a seventeen year old myself, believe me, I know all about it, and at some stage, whether you like it or not, alcohol comes into the equation. This is where our parenting skills come into play. You have to start checking plans more carefully from age 11 believe it or not, and not by directly challenging them either, rather than saying ‘where have you been?’ you could ask ‘was Jamie there today?’ or ‘did you play goalie’ or ‘did you buy anything nice?’ – these open ended questions will tease more information out and stop your kids raising the barriers.

From age 13 it’s important to check that sleepover plans are genuine for example, and to check with other parents that they are going to be there. You may think, ‘why should I worry?’ but surveys show that nearly all teenagers lie to their parents at some stage about where they are or who they’ve been with.. and alcohol might be part of the equation, especially if the parents are going out. It only takes one person to sneak something in in a water bottle, or to suggest raiding the drinks cupboard. And then there’s the quandary of having a party… my advice? don’t have one at home until their 16 – combine a group of teenagers and loud music in a house, no matter how good your intentions someone will have sneaked alcohol in. Go out for a pizza, bowling or the cinema instead, much less mess involved too!

If you do want to hold a party, have loads of food, interesting soft drinks and stick around, stay in the kitchen or out of sight for their street cred, but don’t go out, even if locally, it completely changes how young people behave. They’ll be invitations to house parties that you’re not sure about either – they’ll hate you, but ring the host parents and ask what their policy is on alcohol and whether they’ll be there, and if you’re not happy, be prepared to say no – there’ll be slamming doors, but often your kids are pleased to have someone to blame – my Mum or Dad won’t let me – and if you say yes, pick them up and drop them off and ask them to keep their phone on and fully charged!!!!

Is this all really necessary I hear you ask? Well, yes it is. Teenagers who drink regularly before the age of 15 have GCSE predictions that are 20 points lower than those who don’t – that’s the difference between and A* and a C. They’re also more likely to be in an accident, experiment with smoking and other substances, be sexually assaulted, robbed or be involved in a violent incident…..that’s why we’d like you get involved with a campaign being run by the Alcohol Education Trust, which works with a 1000 schools across the UK to keep kids safe around alcohol. We have launched www.dryvember.com to support 25,000 kids in 100 schools with the talkaboutalcohol programme. We aim to raise £26,-000 in November to gain match funding from The Childhood Trust and The Big Give. You can sign up https://www.alcoholeducationtrust.org/dryvember/sign-up-now/ for a marathon of 26 days (4 days off for special occasions) or a half marathon, or text an #alcofreeselfie and a donation by texting DRY to 70660! Please help us spread the word!